Deeper Meanings
by FuglyDuckling
Summary: This is my very first Fic so...be gentle k? Short S/A fic. More of a WAFF I think


**Disclaimer:**

Neon Genesis Evangelion (NGE) belongs to Gainax and Hideakki (sp) Anno.

The characters in this piece of fiction are borrowed and I claim no credit except for some of the plot. Also the (NGE) Comic book's story and art is by Yoshiyuki Sadamoto, The original concept is by Gainax. "Iris by the Goo Goo dolls" belongs to them so give them credit for such a wonderful song.

**A/N **

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Alright, this is just a brief note to tell you that this is my very first fic, so please be gentle!

Oh yeah this is a short S/A story more of a WAFF. It takes place during the **NGE comic volume 6, where Toji pilots unit 3. It starts at Mistato's apartment when Shinji tries to comprehend the "female psyche" as explained by Asuka. From then it's my version. hehehe...       **

I'll try my best to keep them in character and not OOC.

-Fugly Duckling

"....."--Speech

*.....*--Thought(s)

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**Deeper Meanings**

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That night in Misato's apartment, Shinji and Asuka were in the living room watching a program about the second impact. Well, they weren't really watching, with much interest anyway. Asuka in the meantime was sitting on one of those floor cushions Misato had to go along with the low coffee table. She was eating an ice-cream popsicle just after tearing off its wrapper. Shinji was just staring at the television along with Pen-pen by his side, thinking about the afternoon's events rather than paying any attention to the dull documentary.

"Hey Shinji, change the channel. It's boring!" Asuka complained.

"Yeah, yeah..." The television changed to a different channel with a click after Shinji pressed the remote.

Shinji continued with his thoughts regardless of the endless droning from the television. If he had noticed earlier, the speaker would have surprisingly reminded him of his sensei.                     

*I don't believe anyone would like Asuka, especially Toji, not if they knew how she was really like*

**~~Earlier that afternoon~~**

Upon arriving at the infirmary after the fall, Shinji took a seat on a chair. Hikari sat across him, pulling out some cotton buds from a first aid box. She proceeded to clean the cut by adding some hydrogen peroxide with the cotton bud. Shinji cringed for a moment as the disinfectant made contact with the wound. For a few moments there was an uneasy silence between the two, until Hikari broke it.

"I'm sorry," Hikari apologized. "What happened back there was my fault. I shouldn't have chased him on the stairs like that."

"It's alright, it's no big deal." Shinji assured her by giving her a small smile. Again there was silence.

"So why hang out with a jerk? Toji I mean." Hikari suddenly asked.

"Huh? Oh..Toji, why'd you ask?" Shinji questioned.

"You might get stupid by association." Hikari chuckled a bit at her silly answer.

"He's not stupid," Shinji defended his friend. "Sure, he likes seeking attention and making pranks but he's a nice guy that you can count on."

"I think so too." Hikari whispered silently, more to herself than to Shinji.

"What did you say? I didn't quite hear it, sorry?"

"Oh..uh nothing, it was nothing!" Hikari covered up, her face slightly flustered.

More moments of silence pass before Hikari speaks up again.

"Does he...say anything about me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I uh… W-What I meant was, does he say... or think that I'm mean or anything?"

".........."

"If he doesn't talk or say anything about me, it's alright too."

Shinji noticed Hikari had a solemn look on her face. He was about to ask her what was wrong when the slightly flushed class rep suddenly spoke up again.

"I wonder, If he likes Asuka?"

"**WHAT?!" Shinji's jaw drops. **

"But they always look like they're having fun together."

At this statement Shinji gives a questioning look at Hikari, as if wondering if she's sane in the mind.

***Fun?! I don't believe Hikari just said that! I don't think engaging in a verbal war with Asuka is any fun at ****_ALL. Especially since Asuka despises the very sight of Toji. Just the thought of them flirting and fighting makes me _****sick.***

 "Shinji are you alright? You suddenly look pale."

"Wha?! Oh..uh it's nothing..hehe, I'm alright I'll just go wash my face later." A few seconds later the color of his face came back to normal.

**~~Present Time~~**

Shinji shuddered slightly. Then again contrary to his thoughts, Shinji did take a particular interest to the fiery red head, even though she kept calling him a baka and bombarding him with all types of insults. And even despite this, deep in his heart he had admired her since they first met on the aircraft carrier, Over the rainbow. He could also never forget the slap she gave to him, the stooges to be more exact, after they all had the most unfortunate luck to see her ….undergarments when the wind was blowing. It was her trademark after all. (Her slap of course! Not her flashing her undies..jeez :P)

*Maybe I should ask Asuka why Hikari is behaving this way. She is her close friend after all.*

"Why did she keep asking me about Toji?" Shinji asked suddenly.

"Huh? Who kept asking?" Asuka replied confused.

"Hikari, she asked questions, like does he ever talk about her or does he like you or something like that."

"Wha!?" Asuka choked on her Popsicle. "That's disgusting! Bleach!"

"Yeah, I know. Weird isn't it? She's always yelling at him anyway."

"……"

"Are you stupid? That's because she likes him baka!" Asuka said after a few moments, clearly worried.

"……!! What! But she doesn't act like it…" Shinji argued.

Asuka sighed loudly, "You'll never understand the female psyche." She said, giving him a smirk.

"Huh? What do you mean by '_the female psyche'?" _

Asuka this time gave a sigh of frustration. "Of course she wouldn't just admit her feelings to him so easily idiot! Especially to **_that__ idiot! It'd be a major embarrassment for her and her reputation!" Asuka continued, "__So she has to __hide her feelings by __acting the opposite way to avoid anyone from noticing. There I said it, do __you_**** _understand now?!" _**

Asuka made sure she spoke slowly to emphasize her point so that the slightly confused boy could understand her. However, judging by the uncertain look he gave her she assumed he still didn't understand. She felt her anger rising uncontrollably, clenching her eyes tightly; she tried to calm down from giving the boy a lynching. Her face was getting red and Shinji noticed. He slowly inched away from her, hoping she wouldn't notice his silent retreat. Pen-pen too did the same.

"Urghh! I give up, why did I even bother to try explaining to a stooge?! Mein Gott! Why are boys so **_dense?! And why did Hikari have to pick that _****_jerk, of all people, she's too good for him!" Asuka shouted in anger opening her eyes revealing their fury._**

Shinji stopped dead in his tracks. Asuka noticed his attempted retreat.  There was dead silence in the air.

"Were you trying to run away from me?! You are going **_pray that you survive after I'm done with you third child!" Asuka threatened menacingly._**

Shinji gulped audibly, that's when he noticed Pen-pen was gone from sight.

***Damn it! Where the hell did Pen-pen go?! Okay, relax Shinji think…..you can think your way out of this situation!***

Asuka was now halfway from where he was crawling.

*Say something **dammit! Oh okay here goes nothing.***

"So uh youmeangirlsactmeantotheguystheylikeinsteadof…tellingthemthetruthabouttheirfeelings?!"Shinji said out quickly and in an almost incomprehensible manner.

(For the benefit of viewers who are too lazy to read the above Shinji said, "So uh you mean girls act mean to the guys they like instead of…telling them the truth about their feelings?!")

"Wha? AHHHHHH!" Shinji's sudden outburst had caught Asuka by surprise. In fact, she was so surprised and blinded by anger that she caused herself to trip on her feet causing her to land and fall directly onto Shinji. The girl landed badly with thud on the boy, causing him to be temporarily winded by the impact.

*What the hell…ughh my head hurts...what am I lying on? So soft…Wait where's Shinji? He better not be laughing, I'll choke him with my bare hands!*

"Asuka are you alright?" Shinji whispered into her ear, concern in his voice clearly evident.

*Wait a second. Why is he whispering to me? What's moving under me, it's like breathing-!! Oh No!*

"ACK! Get off of me!! Oww!" Asuka clearly disgusted about their position, tried to get off but only managed in hurting her already sprained shoulder. Only to land feebly on the boy, her face to the side of his. If someone was there, they would have noticed the two teens blushing redder than Asuka's hair at their predicament.

"You alright? Asuka?,….Asuka?"

"Shut up!" She shouted into his ear, the boy cringed. "I fell because **_you caused me to, and now I can't move because I sprained my shoulder, all thanks to you _****_baka_****_!" _**

"…Sorry."

"Hmph. Sorry won't get you anywhere."

"Maybe I should move." The boy tried to get up but only elicited further cries of pain from the redhead. 

"**Ow! Don't move so much! It hurts dumbass!" Asuka complained. "I swear if I hear anything of this from anyone I will kill you personally Third child! Is that ****_understood?!"_**

"Yes.." Shinji softly replied

So again the two teenagers were back at square one, with her on him facing down and him facing the ceiling. Shinji tried not to think about Asuka's firm and curvy body pressing into him. The scent of her auburn was so pleasantly intoxicating, not an arousing scent but one filled with sweetness and warmth. Shinji felt calmed by her presence even in their awkward position. Meanwhile, Asuka was silently contemplating what she should do before Misato comes back home, and that was a good three hours from now.

*Damn, why must this always happen to me…….hmmm so quiet all of a sudden? He's breathing so calmly, as if he's actually enjoying this. Of course he's enjoying it! He's feeling me, the Great Asuka Sohryu Langley! God dammit that pervert! I'd kill him right away if I could move, but yawn that can wait until tomorrow………so warm…soft.*

"Better not be feeling me you pervert! Do you yawn know how many guys would kill to be in your position?"

"Hmm mm" Shinji hummed his reply. smiling sadly.

"….yawn baka…….Shinji"

Around fifteen minutes later Shinji noticed that his roommate was unusually quiet. He turned his head slightly towards her, only to hear her soft breathing.

*How about that? She's sleeping soundly…..she's so warm.*

Shinji avoided the urge to wrap his arms around the beautiful red head. She looked so cute when she was sleeping, like a small child. Perhaps that was what she really was under all her emotional walls, only a child. Shinji realized that he would never know. The girl shifted slightly to get into a more comfortable position in his arms.

"Asuka, why are you so mean to me?" Shinji asked out of the blue. He paused for awhile, once he confirmed she was genuinely sleeping he continued. "Does that mean you….like me? You said girls acted mean towards the guy they like, when in fact they are actually showing their affection? 

"What am I thinking? How could anyone like a pathetic, weak and cowardly boy like me?"

"I like you Asuka, even if you may never share the same feelings as me, I'm happy if you are happy."

At that point the television which was still on throughout all this, played a music video. Shinji closed his eyes as he recognized it, it reflected his mood at that moment.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now_

_And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight_

_And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive_

_And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

_And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am  
And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

_I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
**I just want you to know who I am.**_

Shinji allowed a lone tear to streak from his eye after the song ended. He decided it was time to put the redhead in her room so he slowly got up while cradling Asuka in his arms. She winced slightly from the movement but stayed asleep. Shinji walked down the narrow hall and opened the door to her room and laid her to rest on her bed, pulling the covers over her.

"Shinji…..sigh"

Shinji was startled at first when she whispered his name, but he realized she was still asleep. His secret confession to the beautiful girl would still remain a secret. Shinji then did something he thought he would never do, he bent down and gave Asuka a small kiss on the forehead. The sleeping girl didn't wake up. Fortunately for him, or else he wouldn't be able to explain his actions.

"Sweet dreams, Asuka-chan." Shinji closed the door behind him as he exited the room.

**Deeper Meanings**

**-Fugly Duckling**

**A/N**

Well, I don't know what to say really.I decided to let Shinji reveal part of his emotions to Asuka, because since she was sleeping it would be easier for Shinji to talk. It was a spur of the moment thing, especially the insertion of the song by the Goo Goo dolls – Iris. I think it's a beautiful song that reflects Shinji's thoughts about Asuka. If you didn't know what happened in the comic book I'll summarize for you.

Shinji and Toji were doing clean up duty along the stairs, when all of a sudden Toji comes up with the idea to peek under girls skirts when they are walking up. His plan goes horribly wrong when Hikari comes down and catches him in the act. A chase ensues and ends up with Toji and Shinji falling down the stairs. Shinji is injured with a cut and Hikari takes him to the infirmary, Touji is obviously jealous. At the infirmary Hikari questions Shinji about Toji, asking if he likes Asuka. Shinji is curious of her behavior and decides to tell Asuka.-----There you go, and that's where my story starts. J

Anyway, Sorry for the story being so short I hoped you liked it. Please tell me how to make it better or inform me of any errors!

Review at FF.net or e-mail me At illegal_alien2000@yahoo.com   
(Don't ask bout the name :P)

Well then See Ya around Guys!!

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